Hands - Selective Weed Control - 1 pair

Got weeds? Welcome to the club. 
Weeds, weeds, weeds... what's an organic farmer to do?
Weeds get into your valuable crops. They hog precious nutrients and space. They harbor pests and diseases, reduce yields, make harvesting a pain, aren't delicious, and embarrass you on field walks.
When it's August, and you're tired, and it's hot and you realize that you're only half-way through the season and you're not sure you're going to make it... weeds don't care. Weeds laugh at you. 
Your tender little fruits and veggies need a steady supply of water and nutrients.  They need protection from diseases and insects. In the face of the harsh world they look like without your constant care they might just give up the ghost. Not weeds. 
Weeds are there to greet (mock) you every day, standing proudly, silhouetted against the sunrise, high above your crops. 
"Good morning farmer" they say.
"Here we are... what are you going to do about us?"
They watch you harvest and wash and pack your crops, and they wave at you, smiling as you drive off the farm. They greet you when you return. They dance through your mind as you drift off to sleep... it's almost like it's their farm, not yours. Maybe you actually work for the weeds? You're not becoming friends with them are you? You're not surrendering to the weeds, are you?!?

NO! NEVER!!!

After decades of exhaustive research, countless field trials, and a tireless pursuit of the ultimate solution, we are proud to announce a highly-effective, fully-systemic, low-cost*, selective weed-control solution - HANDS! (*cost is relative)

Take revenge on weeds with HANDS. Use HANDS to uproot weeds and rip them to shreds.

HANDS work on contact by physically removing weeds from the soil. HANDS are NOP compliant and EPA exempt. Use of HANDS requires no PHI or REI, and HANDS can be applied to all crops at rates as low as 1/2 pair per acre. Higher application rates of HANDS will greatly improve their efficacy and control weeds more rapidly.
HANDS adaptive, multi-site mode of action make them excellent rotational partners in integrated weed management systems, and carry minimal risk of selecting for resistance.
HANDS can be used on all non-allergenic weed species, although some tough or thorny weeds may require an adjuvant - we recommend combining HANDS at a ratio of 1:1 with GLOVES. HANDS are highly compatible with many other weed controls and may safely be used in combination with HOES, SCYTHES and TROWELS.
When not controlling weeds, HANDS can be stored in POCKETS**, or used to hold COFFEE, or to place orders with Seven Springs Farm Supply.
**This option not available for Unites States Marines.